I have one planned and two unplanned guests in my home for lunch. I also have all the ingredients for milo cupcakes. Now is the time to strike!
Reading the recipe. Wow, it just says to throw everything into the food processor. Awesome, even I can do that! Flour, in! Sugar, in! Raising agents, in! An epic amount of butter, in! Milo, in! Eggs, vanilla, sour cream, in in in! And now the machine does all my work for me. I had no idea you could mix batter in a food processor. Good to get new ways to use old appliances.
Taste. Whoa. It tastes like buttery icing. Have I done this right? It’s the most solid batter I’ve ever made.
Hmm, no cupcake liners. Muffin liners it is! Plopping the mixture spoon by spoon in. I think these are going to flop out rather than grow the cake up. Oh, I’ll just dump the liners into the holes in my muffin tray. No real reason that shouldn’t work… I guess? Man, I am not a baker…
Ooops. Got so busy cooking mushrooms for lunch that I didn’t check what time I put them in. Tap them on the top. Soggy. So longer then!
Okay, tap. Yup, pretty firm. That’ll do. Out on the rack to dry. They’ve risen okay, some are poking over the lining to make muffin-style tops but whatever.
Left the butter out for ages to soften but it still seams rather firm. Should I try and soften it in the microwave. No, probably it will melt into liquid and that will be no good. Maybe just being whacked by the electric beater will pummel it into submission.
No good. The butter is all caught up in the beaters, like candy floss on a stick. The beaters whirl and whirl but the butter just clings.
Pushing the speed up to the fastest. Whoa, the mixer bucks against my grasp… but yay, little bits of butter are beginning to splatter against the side of the bowl. Fighting with it, getting them.
Caster sugar. It’s very lumpy and solid, but the beaters will break those up.
Oh. No, the beaters do not break them up. There are little white sugar marbles moving through my creamed butter and they are not leaving. Crushing bits of sugar in my hands before adding them. Trying to sift it. This sugar is boulder-firm! Only got about half of what the recipe said in.
This icing is not turning out. Well, the only thing to do is to add the sweetened condensed milk and see how it goes. If it’s gross I just won’t use it and we can have ice cream.
Opening the can. The condensed milk is so thick and creamy-sticky. In it goes!
More beating… and I think it’s working! It looks okay!
Finger in. Tastes like butter.
This is going to be the predominate taste I can see.
But it’s good enough to use.
Sticking a knife into the thick icing and buttering my cupcakes with it. Not very fancy but hey, it’s working fine. Dribble on some condensed milk and dust with milo. Done.
Putting them in front of my guests. Waiting for someone else to go first but no-one is! Fine then.
Peeling back the paper, going in for the kill.
The cake does not taste like milo. It does not taste like much of anything. It’s neither dry nor mudcake moist but has texture like a muffin.
A bite with the icing is more satisfying. Really the cake is just the vehicle for the rich buttery topping. It’s so strong, it feels like just one bite and I’ve had enough.
The most pleasurable part is where the cake has grown crunchy from peeking over the liner. The crack against the soft cake and thick cream is most enjoyable.
Actually, I do like the icing. It’s richness is good, and it’s not too sweet. The smoothness in my mouth is nice; except for the pockets of dry sugar. I could use this icing on a banana cake or something perhaps.
Nibble the cake alone. Nope, really can’t get any milo flavour. Maybe I didn’t put enough in. Now I remember why I don’t bake: I can never get cakes to turn out right. Plus I always prefer the feel of something sweet to be cool and wet, like ice cream. Where can I get ice cream cupcakes?
Everyone agrees that they’re nice enough but no-one loves them.
Oh well. At least I tried! We can’t all be baking queens. I’ll stick to my cheesecake specialty and let others keep their well-deserved limelight.
Rating: 
Specifics: Milo cupcakes with condensed milk icing, made to the recipe from Raspberri Cupcakes
3 Comments
They sound good! Im sorry they didnt turn out the way you wanted. Im such a fan of icing that I dont mind if the icing is better than the cake once in a while :D
Hi, sounds like you had some issues with the baking process. Just letting you know the recipe uses sifted icing sugar for the icing, not caster sugar. You need to keep beating the butter until the all the icing sugar is completely combined, as stated in the recipe. Only using half the amount of icing sugar stated is probably why your icing tasted like butter. It takes a fair bit of beating but it does eventually come together. Sounds like you needed more milo in your batter too, you can never have too much milo!
I stand by my assessment – as cupcakes, they were lovely, but as MILO cupcakes they did not cut the mustard! I would be more inclined to blame the recipe than yourself though… I’ve always felt Milo is not a particularly powerful flavour.
I really liked the texture though – just the right balance between moist and dry, and light enough to carry the heavy icing.
Joe is a baking fan. I don’t dig it. It’s not “normal” cooking. It’s like a dark art or something.